Thursday, February 19, 2009

Don't look back.

Close Your Eyes...Tired this morning, and with that came a wave of helplessness and hopelessness.  I hate mornings like this.  By rights, I've got so much to be pleased about at the moment: I'm enjoying working at the museum;I'm loving the progress I'm making with the pterodactyl book; I'm looking forward to moving to a new place in a couple of months; I'm in a wonderful relationship with a kind and wonderful man.  I shouldn't be waking up feeling like this.

I think self-doubt's such a horrific thing to go through.  I'm very glad it only comes in waves like this.  Too many things up in the air at the moment.  Don't know what I'll be doing for work after the end of March, so having to look at my options.  Scared about surgery in April and still in a lot of pain in the mean time.  Very frustrated by delays in accessing mental health services to help with post-traumatic stress and while I'm waiting, the flashbacks are coming in thick and fast.

I'm just stuck, really, and I don't like being made to wait.  

Anyway.  I need to put together a portfolio for a course I'm applying for - any offers of help or comments about favourite drawings of mine would really help.  I'm applying for the MA in Illustration at Camberwell with the hope that it'll help me focus my work a bit better and understand how to maybe one day make a little bit of money out of it.  Could really do with some help!

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