I just got back from a wonderful trip to Berlin to find five items of post that had been delivered to me from the Conservative Party and another leaflet that had been shoved through the letter box of the flat I live in (so someone had gone to the trouble of not just using the letter box used for post but had gone to every door in the building, like a fast food delivery service flier might). Now, I'm prepared to admit a little bit of campaigning is fair game, but please, really, stop.
Surely you can see the irony in you sending me so many letters telling me that you've changed your stance on environmental issues when the paper stock you've used for the letters is bleached and the leaflets are glossy and therefore harder to recycle?
Surely you can see that I might be a soupçon sceptical about your claim to promote the sanctity of an Englishman's home from invasion by invading my private space with unsolicited junk mail on this preposterous scale?
Surely you heard the howl of laughter your letter received which said I should vote for you because you oppose a Big Brother state, yet you send letters to me by name when I have not made any request whatsoever to receive any of your albeit hilarious dogma?
And really, you should know better than to be trying to pull a fast one by whining how appallingly broken this country is when all of these letters have arrived in perfect time to synchronise with your well-scripted campaign speeches. Surely our postal service that's so crippled by union action wouldn't be the best way to reach a population so utterly disenfranchised.
I'm disappointed to see that there's no option on any of the letters you've sent to request any of the information in other languages, especially when I live in the Borough of Hounslow where there will be many voters who might benefit from being able to read your missives in their own language. I also notice there was no mention of how I can obtain an audio, large-print version or a Braille version for partially-sighted friends or a sign language version for Deaf friends or a plain English version for friends who are dyslexic or have learning difficulties.
Oh, or am I to infer from this that what you're really canvassing for is the vote of the English-Speaking, non-disabled people of my area? As you've very ably demonstrated you're quite clearly not bothered about making sure you're protecting the rights of gay, lesbian bisexual or transgendered people, I suspect perhaps this might just be the case.
So, please, David or one of your drones, either write to me personally when I write to you and answer some of the criticisms I've set out above - and not just in terms of "Oh, but Labour...", or remove me immediately from your database and try to regain a little bit of eco-credibility and save a few trees.